7/24/14

Blood Capsule #48

TALE OF A VAMPIRE (1992)

Julian Sands enjoyed a prolific run in the early 90's, starring in a strand of mid-level genre films ranging from the cordially crass (Warlock: The Armageddon) to the duteously fatuous (Naked Lunch).  He's popular among horror freaks, and it's easy to see why.  Dudes respect his bold chops, especially as a villain.  Chicks get off on the vulnerability he brings to a character.  That sounds boorish, but ladies, you know it's true.  I don't mind telling you that he made my undergarments curl in jocundity as Alex, a vampiric centenarian who develops a sexually tense rapport with a grieving lass.  She is the spitting image of a lost love, a lost love who may have been involved with more than one creature of the night.

We're talking about Tale of a Vampire, a modest movie that must have had foresight.  It prognosticated the pseudo-romance we find in today's weepy, lachrymose epics where an unbelievably handsome wolf of a charmer lights up a sad girl's vagina.  As a general rule, I don't care for those pictures.  But this puppy has Julian Sands.  And it's shot incredibly well.  Unfortunately, it's slower than a glacier wearing ankle weights (hmm).  I mean, it's really, really fucking slow.  No kidding.  I'll go ahead and recommend it anyway if you're big on pale gentlemen and fruit bats.

2 comments:

  1. "I'll go ahead and recommend it anyway if you're big on pale gentlemen and fruit bats."

    Sounds sexy, Dommy!

    ReplyDelete
  2. "Lights up a sad girls vagina"
    Excellent.

    ReplyDelete