Didn't I post about El Rey last week-ish? Yeah, I did. I'm doing it again. I don't care for most national holidays, except Halloween. Independence Day fucking grates my peripheral nervous system because half of the bumpkin bushpigs in my taint of the woods probably don't know why we celebrate it beyond a surface understanding of AMERICA! They see it as an excuse to load up on firecrackers. I'm sorry; did I say firecrackers? I meant professional fireworks, the kind you see at sporting events. Hey, I love pretty colors, but these boastful explosives sound like cluster bombs, and they're freaking out our dogs.
It's ridiculous. It's happened two nights in a row, and tonight is the actual holiday! I know I'm hard on America (maybe that's more on Facebook), but we completely miss the point of almost every holiday. Thanksgiving? Food and football! Christmas? Trees and presents! Easter? Eggs and a giant fucking bunny! Valentine's Day? Flowers and chocolate, but only on V-Day! Halloween? Ah, that's why it's the best holiday. The point of Halloween is to have fun. Ideally, you would have fun in a horror-centric way, but it's not mandatory. You can't fuck this one up, unless you simply hate fun. Wait, what the hell was I planning to discuss before I took an off-ramp and turned right onto Fustian Blvd.? Popped a vein and shit.
Just kidding. My cock is as smooth as a baby's co...mmon sense. El Rey! Right now! They're airing a massive Godzilla marathon to usher in the fourth. Fourteen films, if I'm not mistaken, and one of them is Rodan. Rodan is lousy. But hey! Thirteen Godzilla films! I've heard grumbling that they're not in order, but who gives a lick? Obviously, this writer is pro-randomness. I'm going to get cracking on part two of The Soda Jerk Unbound. It's a big deal!
Posted by Dom Coccaro at 6:37 AM