Thankskilling

These movies are review-proof. Let's face it; I can't really say that Thankskilling is good or bad. All I can say is that I had a fun time watching this no-budget spectacle. I don't know why more filmmakers haven't taken advantage of this holiday and tried to create the Black Christmas of Thanksgiving-related fright flicks. The only other film I can think of that features a turkey monster is Blood Freak, a hallucinogenic anti-drug reel from the 70's that has nothing to do with Thanksgiving. Of the two, Thankskilling is infinitely more gratifying. In the first minute alone, we see a bare-breasted pornstar-cum-pilgrim (pun of the year) being murdered by a sleazy turkey who has stolen a few pages from Freddy Krueger's one-liner handbook.

The plot concerns a...killer turkey. Well, that was easy. The turkey's backstory is recounted via cool animated sequences that add a unique flair to an otherwise z-grade smut piece. I would have liked to see more of them. The digital video transfer is bright and full of autumnal colors. The audio levels are all over the place, but to be fair, my screener copy may or may not be the finished product. Writer/director Jordan Downey got plenty of mileage out of a fistful of dollar bills. Normally, I despise shot-on-DV features, but this one is well-groomed.

The cast is fucking cancerous. I hated everyone, which is a shame when you think about it. This is a b-movie. There is no reason why the characters can't be likeable. I mean, I realize that Thankskilling is a slasher parody, but I shouldn't have loathed the actors as much as I did. On the upside, the slut is illegally hot in a very slutty way. CALL ME! The heroine is cute, too, but everyone else can fuck right off. The puppetry is godawful. Again, Thankskilling is review-proof, so take all of this with a grain of salt. This paragraph is irrelevant in the grand scheme of things.

You can tell that this flick was a labor of love, and for that, I commend Downey for pulling it together and promoting this sucker like a champ. I'm enrolled in an entrepreneurship program at a community college, so I appreciate proficient marketing. I guarantee that this is the only review to mention such a thing. I take it into account because I enjoy seeing young filmmakers creating something out of nothing. Plus, Thankskilling is entertaining. That's important. It's worth renting on a dreary weekday night, and it's clearly the best "killer turkey" vehicle of the century. Gobble, gobble!