Parts Unknown #62: Raw

Well, that was...entertaining? I don't have much to say about last night's three-hour Raw extravaganza. The storylines didn't progress much, and apart from the main event, the matches were unsound afterthoughts.

PROS

~ The majority of the promos were fantastic. Stone Cold did his job, squeezing a few laughs out of a dead crowd. But what did he do? Yeah, he made matches and he belted out all of his catchphrases, but he didn't enter into a feud. He didn't reveal any revelations. He didn't...do anything! That's my biggest complaint about the show in general. Nothing happened.

~ The short match between Kane and Alberto Del Rio was decent. Big Show kicked ass.

~ R-Truth hugging and then kicking Hornswoggle. It was good to see JoMo, but why bring him back if he's not ready to wrestle? I guess that Truth needs all the heat that he can get.

~ Sheamus's new submission hold. Maybe he finally has a set finisher. I do like the fact that he kicked out of The Cobra. It shows that they are taking him seriously as a future champion.

~ Stone Cold mentioning his ringmaster gimmick. Straws. I'm grasping at them.

~ Any segment involving Rowdy Roddy Piper is a "pro" by default. For whatever reason, he never connected with the (lame) crowd, but I was amused by his Pit.

~ The all-too-brief encounter between Stone Cold and CM Punk.

~ The main event. It was actually a solid match, and the right person went over.

CONS

~ Too many midcard tag team matches. Too many wrestlers. They shouldn't have made this an interbrand event. I could have booked a more coherent episode of Raw on the shitter, and I'm one of the fans that Eric Bischoff thinks is wrong about everything.

~ 14 Diva's = 2 minutes of wrestling? What the fuck was that? Is it too late for Kharma to have an abortion?

~ The Christian/Rey Mysterio match. Terrible. Just terrible. The 619 is one of the worst finishers of all time. I'm surprised that Captain Charisma didn't pull a Mick Foley and leave an ear on the ropes.

I'm sorry, but this was a lazy show. I'm having some personal issues at the moment, so the stress might have played a part in my disenchantment. Who knows? Blah.