NXT Round-Up

ZELINA VEGA SCARES ME ~ The show opened with Andrade "Cien" Almas taking on Cezar Bononi.  Fine match, but damn, something about Vega intimidates my balls.  When she shrieked at her client to finish Bononi, my gizzards winced.  Y'know, my chitterlings.  My sweetbread!  I'm not saying that I wouldn't let her ravage me; I'm just...I'm just going to move on, alright?

LARS BREAKS THREE LOSERS ~ This guy has enjoyed NXT's most destructive launch since Baron Corbin's debut.  The only problem I have with monster heels is that if they don't win the title within 4-6 months, how monstrous are they?  Beyond their initial efflux, they either soar to the top or they linger like Bray Wyatt. Here's hoping they handle Lars Sullivan with care because I fucking dig him.  And I'm super important.

ZEDA VS. SONYA DEVILLE ~ Mae Young Classic competitor Zeda is still green-ish, but she shows promise.  Sonya always looks legit.  I wouldn't mind seeing her go toe to toe with Shayna Bazszszszler.

HIDEOHNO DQ ~ Get it?  It was a No Disqualifications match between Hideo Itami and Kassius Ohno.  Hideohnodq...huh?  Joke? Yes?  Uncomfortable?  Anyway, this was a superb, hard-hitting bout. I'm curious as to the future of this feud, assuming there is one.  You could justify one or two more gimmick matches, but Itami needs a win soon.

ASUKA ~ So the Women's Championship is vacated.  The crowd gave her one hell of an ovation, as did a whopping dollop of the locker room.  I predict a scorching run on Raw.  We won't see her for awhile, but when she rises again, she will automatically be the top babyface on her brand, male or female.  No one is ready for Asuka!!!

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