BEYOND THE DOOR III (1989)
On some level, I created Blood Capsules to condense and depurate the films that defy description. To reduce these aberrations to a savory vapor. To win a staring contest with nonsensical bullshit. Beyond the Door III blinked before I did, but it's still a mess of a nexus to untangle. Like it even needs to be addressed; no, this flick has nothing in common with 1974's Beyond the Door or its alleged "sequel" (a.k.a. Mario Bava's Shock). The title was a distributor's decision. I don't know whose decision it was to make this a cloudy, ill-defined junker, but that fool...I have a problem with that fool. He zimmed with the wrong darfklacker.
It's not all doom and gloom, though. Maybe you can tell from the above photograph, but BTD3 is seriously stylish. Director Jeff Kwitny took a saddlebag of locust intestines and turned it into something approaching scenic. God knows he couldn't depend on the cast or the dialogue to retain the viewer's ever-shrinking attention span. I was actually paying heed and I couldn't cipher the damn plot. It's something about a Satanic cult, a virgin, train gore...there is quite a bit of train gore. The effects are sick, dude. Everything else isn't nearly as sick, dude. Beyond the Door III was shot, at least partially, in Serbia, so I can say that having seen a Serbian film, it's a forgettable rental. Nyuk, nyuk.
No comments:
Post a Comment