Dead Review Collection #15 - RED!

    Dom looked at the front door with longing in his eyes.  A sadness.  A seismic sadness.

    "You know you can come with us, right?"  Scotty asked, mainly just to fill in the awkward silence.  He was Dom's roommate, and for days, he had tried to peel the disabled writer away from his laptop.  A night of debauchery would do the trick, wouldn't it?

    "I know, but you know that I won't.  I can't."

    Scotty interjected to no avail.  "You do realize that the review will be there when you--"

    "I'm so close now!  Once I finish Red Before Black, I'm practically home-free.  It's just giving me issues."

    "What issues?"

    "It's A Skeletal Domain all over again.  Well, almost."

    Scotty furrowed his brow.  "But the Skeletal review was well-received, was it not?  You were plastered on every journalism magazine cover.  Think of how many kids want to be music critics because of you."

    "If that's the case, it's because I am my own worst critic."

    Scotty reared back and punched a hole in the wall.  "Goddamn it!  Let yourself breathe!  Enjoy one night out!"

    "You don't think I want to?  Skeletal took forever to come together, and I'm seeing the same signs with Red.  I have nothing to say.  The music doesn't speak to me."

    "Didn't you say it was a step in the right direction?  That the band sounded more comfortable with Erik Rutan as producer?"

    "Yes, on both accounts.  That doesn't make the review easier to write.  The first two tracks are stunningly bland."

    Scotty punched another hole in the wall.  "Goddamn it!  That may be so, but you owe it to yourself to hang out with us tonight.  Sluts will be there!"
    Dom sighed a reflective sigh.  "I got into the writing game because of the sluts.  But I'm an elder statesman now.  And like you said, I'm a role model."

    Scotty peered out the window.  "Z-Dawg and Poonthomas are here.  Last chance."

    Dom didn't need to give it much thought.  "Go ahead.  This will be good for me in the long run.  You'll see."

    "I hope so, man.  Dom, just out of curiosity, will you rate Red any higher than Skeletal?"

    "I will.  It's a quivering mass of sameness with 20% more life in its muscles.  And I don't have it in me to deplore a ditty called 'Heads Shoveled Off.'"

    "The main riff on 'In the Midst of Ruin' is badass, too."
    "Hey, I thought I was writing this review."

    The pals laughed together as Scotty waved a goodnight wave.

    Dom was alone now.  If he had to, he would stare down the witching hour and win a blinking contest against time itself.  Red Before Black wasn't a great record.  His readership would just have to deal with it.  Thankfully, the band seized the chance to square it straight with their next long player.

    So about those sluts...