Panels From Beyond the Grave #37

THE CREECH (#1, Oct. 1997)

Remember 1997?  I'm resisting the temptation to compose yet another love letter to my childhood, but no, seriously.  Remember 1997?  Marilyn Manson was still evil, Netscape Navigator was our web browser of choice (by the way, the working title of this blog was Dogpile Angelfire), and Spawn was the coolest superhero on stands.  For the first time, traditional babyface heroes were seen as flimsy and inadequate.  Superman was square.  It's hard to believe now, but Todd McFarlane seemed edgy for daring to suggest that Batman & Robin was too f*cking goofy.  For a brief moment in time (and I mean brief...it was more ephemeral than a nocturnal emission), Spawn was everywhere.

What does that mean?  It means that Spawn ripoffs were everywhere.  No, The Creech did not approximate Spawn in plot, but look at it.  This thing is so Image Comics, it hurts.  Luckily, it hurts in a sweet way.  About that plot...it's a bit muddy, but here is what I've patched together from available storyline debris.  A hulking beast is assembled from strands of alien D.N.A. and aborted fetus polymer fibers (???).  Basically, it's a mix of space cheese and dead baby curds.  It's a dead baby cheese curd from the stars!  There is lethal pushback from protest groups, but the extremists only succeed in mysticizing the...hmm, I suppose we can call it a monster.

Heavies plan on branding The Creech as a weapon of war.  However, the scientist responsible for all of this gave his creation a nurturing spirit.  If this fragmented synopsis sounds generic, by golly, that's because it's generic.  Why, it's more generic than a nocturnal emission.  Correspondingly, the narrative doesn't have any forward momentum.  Very little actually happens in the first issue, and I hear that we don't learn much in the second issue either (then again, my source may not be trustworthy - it's me).  Characters are both faceless and interchangeable.  I could just be dumb, but I'm not even 100% clear on the identity of the narrator.

Before you empty your shopping cart (I'm imagining that you're at a comic book shop right now, cash in hand), I should mention that I had fun reading The Creech.  The artwork is friggin' awesome.  We get loads of gore, and despite substandard writing, I did want to find out where the action was heading.  I was reminded of MTV's The Maxx here and there.  Woah, remember The Maxx?  Man, the 90's ruled.  In any event, three Savage Dragons feels right.  As for this intellectual property, The Creech has been dormant for over two decades.  Someone like Steve Niles should renovate it.  Yeah.  Tell him to get on that.