Ideally, I would listen to 72 Seasons ten times at the very least. I would then proceed to write an erudite, contemplative review that effortlessly described the music contained on the album, and hey, who knows? Maybe I would be forced to use the elusive 5-Abbath rating. Yeah, that would be ideal. In reality, I'm giving you my first impressions of the new Metallica disc (lolz) because I don't see myself listening to it more than once. Okay, there are a few standout songs that I might revisit.
"Shadows Follow" is infectious on a pathogenic level. The title track seems to be 2023's adroit, ill-tempered answer to "Spit Out the Bone." Um, I prefer "Spit Out the Bone." But it's fine. Nothing here is incontrovertibly inferior or aggressively execrable, but I wasn't blown away either. To borrow pejorative language from MJF, 72 Seasons is...mid. Literally! To be specific, most of this material is mid-paced, coming off like studio leftovers from the self-titled sessions. Positive takeaways? I am digging the guitar harmonies that creep in toward the end of the bulbous running time. Yes, the album is too long, but what did you expect? You have to pick your battles with legacy acts.*
*Is that a dig? I mean, how are they not a legacy act? And why is that a bad thing? Fantastic, I'm talking to myself again. Cut me some slack, as this is only meant to be a placeholder until the next movie review. I'm really good at writing placeholder text.
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