PYTHON (2000)
Why the hell did I watch this movie? I have a theory. Earlier in the week, we had a death in the family (my uncle). It's possible that I have discovered a hitherto unknown stage of grief that involves Robert Englund and CGI serpents. I don't mean to make light of a loss. Actually, this is the kind of flick my uncle would have enjoyed. It's not entirely relevant, but I have him to thank for renting Tales From the Crypt: Demon Knight for me at a time when I was probably too young to watch it. In any event, Python follows the vermicular (word of the day) cargo of a downed plane in the small town of Ruby. Obviously, the genetically-enhanced snake becomes loose. And obviously, Casper Van Dien saw to it that he wriggled into the cast.
If you're willing to play ball, so to speak, Python is an innocuous sit for 75-80 minutes. Unfortunately, it runs for 99 minutes. The climax just does not want to end. But like I said, this is a decent way to kill an afternoon. The acting is serviceable, the bloodshed is manifest, and the special effects, while dated, aren't nearly as bad as you might think. Does it measure up to Anaconda? No, it most certainly does not. However, it has its cornball heart in the right place, and it reminded me of an era where the direct-to-video market was bustling with titles that were worth your while. For the record, Python rates low on the Robert Englund Overacting Scale. To give you some idea, it's a few notches below Strangeland. I need someone to draw up a visual aid for this thing.
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