Insidious: The Red Door

In the run-up to Insidious: The Red Door, I had planned on watching the first four installments.  That was the plan.  In actuality, I think I spent the night before on YouTube searching for White Lion videos and old Kool-Aid commercials.  Yeah, I don't have much of a social life.  To the contrary, I did see Red Door with a friend.  Halfway through the film, I turned to him and confessed my boredom.  He responded by admitting that he had no idea what was happening on-screen.  That should give you a general idea of where I fall on this one.  I remember digging the original.  This sequel shares that film's predilection for character building, but once the key players are established, the script doesn't know what to do with them.  A perfunctory synopsis, if I may...

Josh Lambert consults a psychic for the sole purpose of being hypnotized.  The idea is to forget the last year of his life, which has seen his son fall into a coma.  The son (let's assume he has a name...like, I don't know, Dalton) receives the same treatment.  Nine years later, Dalton is about to peregrinate on a campus life and do the "art school" thing.  He tries to proceed as normal, but certain memories, veiled in fog, flood back into the recesses of his mind.  They are angular at first.  They don't make a lot of sense, and as if they weren't intrusive enough, they spark a new habit - astral projection.  It isn't long before he starts spotting dead people.  Meanwhile, Josh is experiencing the same kind of lucid nightmares.

What does it all mean?  After roughly 40 minutes of aloof exposition and fake-out jump scares, you won't really care.  What's worse, you still have an hour to kill before the end credits roll.  I'll give Red Door this much; it sidesteps the irritating cliché where no one believes the main character when he/she is telling them the truth about ghostly goings-on.  Even the co-ed buddy (Sinclair Daniel as the wisecracking Chris) gives Dalton the benefit of the doubt.  So that was refreshing.  The rest of this motion picture...eh, I'm not sure that "refreshing" is the word I would use to describe it.  Maybe stodgy or tedious?  There should have been multiple editors on the payroll.

Patrick Wilson tried his hand at directing, for some reason.  The visuals are glossy and well-lacquered, but the pace is slower than pond water.  That's pretty slow.  In the olden days, it was popular to say "wait for the video" in reference to a dull flick showing at the local multiplex.  Unless you're a completionist, I would urge you to wait until Insidious: The Red Door hits streaming platforms.  That doesn't have the same ring to it, does it?  You know what?  Wait for the video!  It might be a longer wait, but in this case, you'll be glad that you didn't rush out the door.  Why, your future hinges on your decision.  It's a lock.  Okay, I'm done.