Jeepers Creepers 3

Jeepers Creepers 3 and Jeepers Creepers: Reborn are sold together on DVD.  It was five bucks at Wal-Mart.  Don't look at me like that.  That's a fair price, considering my emotional investment in the series.  I kid because I hate.  No, I was genuinely curious about this one.  I can remember seeing the original in theaters and loving the fact that we got an old-fashioned monster movie at a time when horror's commercial viability was dubious at best.  Somehow, the film performed well enough at the box office to guarantee a sequel, with or without contentious director Victor Salva.  Would you like me to open that can of worms?  Eh, I'm not going there, as I'm choosing to focus on the meat of the matter.

It has to be said that Salva is one of the most talented pedophiles in the game.  Too soon?  Too early???  His talent can be frustrating at times.  It can be argued that he shouldn't be allowed within fifty feet of a camera, but I said I wasn't going there.  As for Jeepers Creepers 3, it retains some of the hallmarks that bankrolled its production.  Salva knows how to use silence, and there are several creepy shots peppered throughout.  Apparently, this flick is set in between parts one and two.  Ultimately, it doesn't matter.  Nothing is resolved, and I didn't learn anything that I didn't already know where The Creeper is concerned.  Well, I take that back.  I learned that The Demon in a Duster (trademarked) is a master mechanic.  I wonder what he would charge to rotate the tires of my wheelchair.

There's a joke in here about Victor Salva and wiper fluid.  If I find it, I'll let you know.  Yeah, I'm not taking this review very seriously.  Um, the characters.  There are too many of them.  You've got the pugnacious police force, the bratty teenagers, a stoic Meg Foster (per sources, she had a clause in her contract that gave her a "peeper bonus;" she was awarded a thousand dollars for every day she reported to set with her eyes open), and birds.  A lot of birds.  The expendable youths don't die quick enough for my liking.  On the acting front, the cast is serviceable, but any earnest performances here are wasted because this is Jeepers Creepers 3.

Seriously, why couldn't the exposition reveal a single thing that sets The Creeper apart from vanilla villains?  Other than "he eats for 23 days on the 23rd moon for 23 seconds and his favorite Jim Carrey movie is The Number 23."  I don't know, gang.  I can usually B.S. my way through four full paragraphs, but this is a lost cause.  The Z'Dar rating is for poor Gina Philips.  Ask me if I'm going to review Jeepers Creepers: Reborn.  Oh, I dare you.