Best Albums of 2025 - Honorable Mentions Plus Disappointments

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Blood Capsule #357

GHOULIES III: GHOULIES GO TO COLLEGE (1991)

Well, that was unexpected.  I thought I had seen Ghoulies III before, but apparently, I was mistaken.  John Carl Buechler returns, this time as director.  We are now in a different genre, though.  This is a straight-up sex comedy with a (low) body count.  If it weren't emblazoned as a horror sequel, there is no way I would be tackling Ghoulies III, buuuuut there are Ghoulies afoot.  Kevin McCarthy (yes, that Kevin McCarthy) stars as Mr. Ragnar, a college professor who detests Prank Week.  Ragnar is in such a state of rancor, that when he stumbles upon a mystical comic book that summons tiny terrors, his first instinct is to use the diminutive malcontents as pawns in a power play that pits two fraternities against one another.  That sounds...elaborate, I know.  But the plot devolves into something easier to digest.  Basically, Ghoulies pester co-eds.  By "pester," I mean "kill every once in awhile."  They are not silent assassins, however.  No, these Ghoulies talk.  A lot.

Ghoulies III is rife with sophomoric humor.  That's not a problem if you're big on gross-out jokes, but guess what?  I'm not big on gross-out jokes.  I'm not big on comedies at all.  It's true; I hate fun.  We have to watch as the Ghoulies (it would be helpful if they had names) slap each other silly, drink beer together, and cause general mischief.  McCarthy winds up being the de facto villain, and to be fair, he seems to be having a blast.  Ghoulies III: Ghoulies Go to College was supposed to be a theatrical release, so at the very least, the production values are trim.  Look, it's not as baleful as Ghoulies IV, but that's not saying very much.  I'm out of ammunition.  To add insult to injury, there are no W.A.S.P. songs on the soundtrack.  What gives?

The future of Now Playing...

I've enjoyed writing each installment of Now Playing, my music "column" where I dish on whatever I've been "spinning."  In "quotation marks."  But as I make the jump to YouTube, Now Playing will be supplanted by Stuff I've Been Jamming Lately.  In fact, it has already been supplanted.  Go read my Now Playings, though.  I've talked about a lot of cool records over the past couple of years.  As for Iron Supplements, I don't know if I'll be continuing that or not.  We shall see.

Blood Capsule #356

GHOULIES II (1988)

I'm listening to WASP as I write this review.  They appear on the soundtrack for Ghoulies II, so I guess I'm trying to recreate the film's atmosphere.  It could be said that I try to recreate Ghoulies II's atmosphere every day.  I mean, that's partially true.  This movie hits the spot, man.  In my review for Ghoulies, I said that if you "hope to see the little rapscallions act in mischievous ways, you might be disappointed."  And that's true, although I don't mind defending Ghoulies to anyone who will listen.  The point stands.  If you were hoping to see the Ghoulies act like Ghoulies, Ghoulies II was made with you in mind.  Plus, this is a sequel that rocks extra hard because it's set at a carnival.  You can practically smell the corndogs in attendance (as for whether I'm referring to food or people, I'll leave that up to you).  The plot is achingly simple.  Larry and his uncle are in charge of Satan's Den, but when a miserly, penurious investor visits the campgrounds, he threatens to axe the spookshow exhibition.  Thankfully, a bunch of ticket-buying wassailers are going to die before that can happen.

Wait, I think...I think I may have botched the synopsis.  Larry doesn't want folks to die, but the Ghoulies do!  That should have been the tagline.  John Carl Beuchler's special effects are greater in number this time around.  They're simply greater period.  The Ghoulies themselves seem to enjoy tinkering with mechanics.  I motion that they be classed as gremlins henceforth.  On second thought, that might cause confusion.  Yeah, they should definitely be classed as gremlins.  The human cast members are likeable enough.  Royal Dano is outstanding as a besotted bibber.  Phil Fondacaro rules as a Shakespeare-quoting...um, I'm not sure that he has a title.  He wears a monster mask and goes "ouawerfwhf!"  The pace is zippy.  Everything just clicks.  Ghoulies II is one of those movies where if you caught it on television back in the day, you would have to stop what you were doing and watch.  I know; it happened to me on one occasion.  Oh, the climax.  It's awesome.  If I had it my way, every film would end with a giant Ghoulie emerging from the earth and eating everyone in sight.  Even babies (especially babies)!

Looking at March...

I think I want to do one more theme month before ending this charade.  I think I've settled on the theme, but because I have so much random crap to review, it's going to have to wait until March.  I'll announce it...um, later.  Clue?  No clue.

Blood Capsule #355

GHOULIES (1985)

I don't know if this is common knowledge or not, but Ghoulies was in pre-production well before Gremlins.  If it weren't for the fact that producers ran out of money halfway through principal photography, the film would have beaten Gremlins to theaters.  So really, Gremlins is the knock-off.  Does that change your opinion of Ghoulies?  Probably not.  It still feels like the low-rent surrogate of "tiny monster" vehicles.  I get it, but to be honest, I prefer Ghoulies.  And I'm not just trying to be the contrarian in the room.  I completely understand if you're not a fan.  After all, the creatures themselves are mere bystanders in the story.  Speaking of which, Ghoulies is full of horror tropes, well-worn clichés that are both old-fashioned and familiar to purveyors of 80's popcorn clusters.  Jonathan inherits a regal estate and finds curious books in the basement.  Why, it's a veritable athenaeum of tomes on alchemy and black magic how-to guides.  Y'know, sorcery.  That kind of stuff.

Anyway, ol' Jon decides to conduct an arcane ritual for his friends.  Bad idea, as he unwittingly opens a portal to the netherworld.  It's never clear where exactly the Ghoulies hail from, a frustrating detail that the series refuses to address all the way up to the fourth entry.  Thankfully, this is not the fourth entry.  Every time I watch this flick, I have fun with it.  Peter Liapis is committed in the lead role.  He takes the task seriously, no matter how wacky his surroundings become (and you better believe his surroundings become wacky).  This movie contains the second greatest wizard duel in history.  If you're curious, Vincent Price and Peter Lorre are in pole position thanks to 1963's The Raven.  I also love John Carl Beuchler's special effects.  Maybe I just love John Carl Beuchler.  If you watch Ghoulies hoping to see the little rapscallions act in mischievous ways, you might be disappointed.  Truth be told, they aren't the stars of the show.  I was able to get my fix, however.

Ghoulies comes close to being a 4-Z'Dar firecracker, but hold on.  I'm saving the big guns for the bigger gun.

Dom's Top 10 Death Metal Songs OF ALL TIME!

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Blood Capsule #354

KRAMPUS (2015)

I'm late to the party yet again.  I don't remember why I didn't see Krampus upon its release.  Fact is, I didn't.  Get off my back.  Usually, I don't make it a point to watch Christmas-themed films in December.  For me, it's just another month.  So basically, it's October.  The only downside to enjoying twelve Octobers is you miss stuff like Krampus from time to time.  I will admit, this is an impressive...family movie?  The genius of Krampus is that the first act is indistinguishable from the holiday fare your mother forces you to watch every year.  If this is the spooky alternative to National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation, the role of Clark Griswold is played by Max.  Incidentally, Max is played by Emjay Anthony.  He would be fine with boughs of holly if he didn't have to endure the scourge of his aunt's family.  His mom's sister's clan has invaded his safe space for a few days, and well, let's just say that Max would welcome the presence of Lampoon's Uncle Eddie.  Notice that I haven't mentioned a monster yet.  There is one, but we don't meet it until the atmosphere calls for it.

Right off the bat, I need to panegyrize the lighting and sound design.  That's a fancy way of saying that everything looks (and sounds) great.  The blizzard that batters and besieges Max's neighborhood will leave icicles hanging from your Blu-ray player.  This is a PG-13 fright flick, but honestly, I didn't notice a shortfall of R-rated intensity.  A side character lets slip an F-bomb, if it means that much to you.  The horror isn't limited to Krampus (y'know, in Krampus), which I appreciated.  We get to play with a mutant teddy bear and a particularly attitudinal drummer boy.  Krampus himself, said to be the very shadow of St. Nicholas, is an effective villain.  I wasn't crazy about the ending.  Unfortunately, that brings us to the end of this capsule, as I wouldn't want to spoil anything for you.  Of course, you've probably already seen Krampus, but still.  Maybe you're as late to the party as I was.  Recommended for fans of egg-based liqueur and pot-bellied chimney dwellers.

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Blood Capsule #353

THE DEVONSVILLE TERROR (1983)

This was an early instance of a film being sent straight to video, despite originally being planned as a theatrical release.  It's kind of a confusing film.  The town of Devonsville is depicted as a backwards settlement full of puritanical menfolk.  During a prologue, three consecutive women are torched at the stake.  Because, y'know, the menfolk say they are witches.  A similar situation comes to fruition in the modern day.  We are supposed to see the authority figures of Devonsville - the rector, the sheriff, the omnipresent store clerk - as antagonists as they impute three women of "consorting with the devil."  There's only one problem; they are right!  As it turns out, the main character, an unassuming teacher, is possessed with witchy powers.  She uncorks a baleful curse that causes one guy's head to explode.  And it's gnarly, but that's not the point.  Are we supposed to empathize with the spooky witches?  Because that would make this flick a forward-thinking exercise in folk horror.

I don't know if I'm ready to admit that The Devonsville Terror is a willful, transgressive gem of a movie.  Director Ulli Lommel isn't exactly known as a maverick.  I won't badger him, as I've only seen one of his other pictures (that would be 1980's The Boogey Man).  I have to hand it to him, though.  He got his wife to co-write the screenplay and star in the thing.  Could it be that The Devonsville Terror, with its assertive feminist streak, anticipated something like The VVitch by a few decades?  I don't mean to insinuate that this was the first of its kind.  Still, it was pretty unique for 1983.  How have I bloviated this much without giving my opinion?  I quite liked it.  The atmosphere is rich with seasonal markers that practically lower the temperature of the room in which you are viewing the film.  Moreover, I'm all about the gonzo gore that christens the climax.  It comes from out of nowhere, man.  An honorable mention goes out to Donald Pleasence.  He gives a fireball performance as a doctor who hypnotizes his patients by screaming at them.  Are his scenes worthy of golf clapping?  Yes.  Yes, they are.

Recommended to fans of Eyes of Fire and burning incense.

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Blood Capsule #352

THEY CAME FROM BEYOND SPACE (1967)

I was going to start this review by calling They Came From Beyond Space an unofficial Amicus production.  But I had my facts mixed up.  This is an official Amicus production, although I doubt the studio would claim it as such.  We have some of the right ingredients here.  The film was directed by Freddie Francis, a dependable journeyman who also dished out The Creeping Flesh and Legend of the Werewolf, among many other drive-in hits.  The pulpy story revolves around a freakish meteor shower.  How freakish?  The meteors land in a "V" formation.  It could be that extraterrestrials are simply big fans of V.  Or it's not a legitimate meteor shower at all.  The phenomenon is studied by scientists who are stricken with the "crimson plague."  As with any decent pandemic, bodies of the victims are shuffled off to the moon.  Yes, the moon.  The first half of the script covers quite a bit of ground.  Dr. Curtis Temple seems to be immune to the space virus, so it's up to him to save the day.

They Came From Beyond Space is only horror-adjacent, but it's too interesting to pass up.  It was based on 1941's The Gods Hate Kansas, a title too good for an obscure novel.  Released as part of a double bill with The Terrornauts, this is sci-fi comfort food that probably should have been produced by a different studio.  The cast is game.  Robert Hutton is believable as our lead.  As an added bonus, we get to see Michael Gough set his phaser to ham as the Master of the Moon.  I love the fact that the de facto leader of an advanced race of energy beings chooses to wear a pink robe.  It should be obvious, but this flick is pretty dry in spots.  It's missing a bizarro beast or a robot humanoid or something.  Still, I'd recommend it for a stagnant Saturday afternoon.  Watch every other Amicus film first, though.  And Island of Terror.  And The Green Slime.  You know what?  Watch anything else first.  That counts as a recommendation, doesn't it?

I am what I am...

Got back from vacation yesterday.  Over said vacation, I watched all three Popeye horror films.  Back-to-back-to-back.  And you know what?  They sucked.  They sucked equally and aggressively.  That is all for now.  I probably have work to do.

Blood Capsule #351

SHADOW ZONE: MY TEACHER ATE MY HOMEWORK (1997)

A year and a half ago, I reviewed Shadow Zone: The Undead Express.  Go ahead and read that.  I'll wait here.  Back?  Okay.  I finally chanced upon a beautiful VHS copy of My Teacher Ate My Homework, the second film based on Shadow Zone, a Goosebumps knock-off series that consisted of thirteen titles.  I don't know if there were more adaptations planned, but only two of these projects saw a green light.  In terms of budget, both picture shows are medium-sized enterprises.  The cast here is leavened with thespians your parents would recognize.  Shelley Duvall plays a wicked teacher named Mrs. Fink.  Jesse can't stand her.  To tell the truth, he's convinced that she goes out of her way to undermine him at every opportunity on top of loading him down with homework.  He seems to gain the upper hand, however, when he finds an eerie doll at a curiosity shop that could pass for Mrs. Fink's doppelganger.  After the doll's arm is "injured," ol' Fink attends class all disheveled with her arm in a sling.  Hmm...

I was expecting this to follow a generic "my teacher is a monster" blueprint (maybe something in line with Tobe Hooper's Invaders From Mars), but instead, I got an evil doll bent on "soul transference."  Yep, this flick borrows from Chucky's playbook.  I didn't see that coming.  Perhaps what's more surprising is the fact that I had a blast watching this thing.  It's super fun.  Compared to The Undead Express, the characters are a little easier to like, and I couldn't figure out where the story was going.  I'm shocked that I've never heard anyone make a passing reference to My Teacher Ate My Homework, not even when collating childhood favorites.  And I've seen people do some serious collating, let me tell you.  I would say it's on par with Goosebumps, but honestly, it's the better product between the two.  Alright, I'm hyping it up too much.  I forgot to mention The Reaper.  Hold on; this calls for a new paragraph.

Each Shadow Zone is hosted by The Reaper, a Cryptkeeper-esque ghoul who I'm now basing my entire life around.  This guy rules!  He's worth an extra half-Z'Dar, and we were already in 4-Z'Dar territory.  Recommended for fans of...Margot Kidder?  Yeah, she cameos as a librarian.  For reasons.

Retirement (Repost)

Okay, so I guess I'll go ahead and announce it.  Once I hit Blood Capsule #400, I'll have enough reviews for my second book.  At which point, two things will happen.  1!  I'll commence work on the book.  2!  I will retire as a horror journalist/movie critic.  In effect, I'll be retiring the site, although I'll leave it up for posterity.  This hasn't been an easy decision to reach, but guys, I've been writing about horror movies in some way since 2002.  That's A LOT of reviews.  I've only been doing it "professionally" for a little while, and that brings me to my next point.

My Patreon will remain active because once I'm done with the site, I'll be making YouTube my full-time gig.  You may have noticed my slow transformation into a YouTuber.  I'm not particularly good at it, but I can only get better.  I do plan on upgrading my camera set-up next year.  By my calculations, I won't hit Blood Capsule #400 for at least a few months.  Ideally, I'll have the second book out for the summer.  In the meantime?  Check out that Patreon.  I appreciate the support.  I have to say, I'm definitely ready to hang it up.  You can expect the remaining Capsule reviews to be exceedingly weird and obscure.  Gotta go out with a bang and all that.

I'll be posting this notice at least twice to make sure everyone sees it.  Thanks for reading!

Blood Capsule #350

I KNOW WHAT YOU DID LAST SUMMER (2025)

I have the World Series on in the background.  It's irrelevant, but I want you to know that I hate the Dodgers.  I tried to come up with a clever baseball metaphor for this movie.  Alas, I got nothing.  I guess I should start by talking about the original.  I dig it!  It's more of an "old school" slasher than the derivatives that followed in its wake.  To be frank, I despise I Still Know What You Did Last Summer, and I feel pretty comfortable saying that I'll never watch it again.  This re-quel...eh.  I admit, I was curious.  Would it simply rehash a proven formula?  Well, kinda.  A new group of almost-teens inadvertently causes a car to tumble down the side of a mountain.  One year later, the bubbly Danica receives a portentous note at her bridal shower.  It reads, "I can't believe how hot Jennifer Love Hewitt is at age 46.  Good for her."  Obviously, our characters are hooked and gutted by a maniac wearing a fisherman's rain slicker.  No spoilers, but there are plot twists galore.

Actually, I'll start there.  This movie has too many endings.  The script seems to be in love with itself.  I'm sure that writer/director Jennifer Kaytin Robinson had pure intentions, but the third act felt like an episode of Monday Night Raw.  That's not a compliment.  And yet, I enjoyed the vapid absurdity of it all.  I was in the mood for a stupid slasher, so I didn't actively hate this flick.  It was cute having Freddie Prinze Jr. and Sarah Michelle Gellar return to the...franchise?  Does this count as a franchise?  I don't see where they could go with another sequel.  None of the main characters are interesting enough to carry a follow-up, and try as they might, the hook-handed villain just hasn't connected as a horror icon.  I mean, have you ever seen little fishermen go trick-or-treating?  If you have, how do you know they weren't dressed as the Gorton's fisherman?  Got you there.

"Retirement" (The Major Announcement)

Okay, so I guess I'll go ahead and announce it.  Once I hit Blood Capsule #400, I'll have enough reviews for my second book.  At which point, two things will happen.  1!  I'll commence work on the book.  2!  I will retire as a horror journalist/movie critic.  In effect, I'll be retiring the site, although I'll leave it up for posterity.  This hasn't been an easy decision to reach, but guys, I've been writing about horror movies in some way since 2002.  That's A LOT of reviews.  I've only been doing it "professionally" for a little while, and that brings me to my next point.

My Patreon will remain active because once I'm done with the site, I'll be making YouTube my full-time gig.  You may have noticed my slow transformation into a YouTuber.  I'm not particularly good at it, but I can only get better.  I do plan on upgrading my camera set-up next year.  By my calculations, I won't hit Blood Capsule #400 for at least a few months.  Ideally, I'll have the second book out for the summer.  In the meantime?  Check out that Patreon.  I appreciate the support.  I have to say, I'm definitely ready to hang it up.  You can expect the remaining Capsule reviews to be exceedingly weird and obscure.  Gotta go out with a bang and all that.

Thanks for reading!

Blood Capsule #349

BLOOD TRACKS (1985)

So you think you've seen every heavy metal horror movie from the 80's, huh?  I thought I had as well, but then I discovered Blood Tracks.  This is a Swedish slasher that only made its debut on blu-ray last year.  The plot borrows tropes from 1984's Monster Dog and even Wes Craven's The Hills Have Eyes.  A rock group decides to invade a small town in the Rockies to shoot a music video at an abandoned factory.  Band members, along with a motley crew (ha!) of groupies and managers, are picked off one by one in increasingly brutal ways.  The villains are demystified early on, as we are shown a domestic dispute that ends with a (bleeding) woman leaving her home with her children in tow.  Cut to twenty years later.  The children are now bestial hermits who will kill anyone unlucky enough to...well, to shoot a music video at an abandoned factory.  The glam band is designated with the moniker of Solid Gold, although they are played by actual musicians who comprise a Swedish act named Easy Action.  According to IMDb, they later regretted simply not playing themselves.

Between you and me?  I don't think that should have been their chief regret.  The dudes in Easy Action are not actors, but by the same token, the other actors are probably not actors, at least in a professional sense.  You won't remember any of these characters.  Did I remember the faces in Black Roses or Rock 'n' Roll Nightmare?  No, but those flicks have a feral spirit, not to mention tawdry creature effects.  On the upside, the death sequences are often hilarious.  We see a person ripped apart by a booby trap, and I'm still not 100% sure what triggered the trap or how it even works.  This thing would confuse Jigsaw.  Now, Blood Tracks has a theme song of sorts.  However, it was never officially released, so you can't buy it or stream it anywhere.  I suppose you could binge Easy Action tunes if the mood struck you.  Is Blood Tracks worth recommending?  Not really.  Maybe if you're a heavy metal horror completionist.  As a slasher, it barely gets the job done.  I do appreciate the goofball gore.  Watch it if there is literally nothing else to watch.

Announcement postponed...

I realize that I'm supposed to be making a major announcement, but we have family in the hospital right now.  I won't have time to write anything for a few days.  Everything else should be on time and on-point, however.

See you in a few!

Blood Capsule #348

THE TOXIC AVENGER (2023)

I totally get why some people were looking forward to this film.  By the same token, I totally get why some people were dreading it.  Could a big-budget Toxie successfully emulate the D.I.Y. turbulence that fueled Lloyd Kaufman in 1984?  Having seen it, I think that director Macon Blair had his heart in the right place.  I'll even go one step further and say that casting Peter Dinklage was a stroke of brilliance.  Seeing a diminutive Toxie in all of his mop-wielding glory gave The Toxic Avenger a touch of...Charles Band-ism?  It's hard to quantify.  Whatever it was, it worked.  Here, everyone's favorite janitor is named Winston.  He wants to set a good example for his son, but before he gets a chance to do anything terribly noble, a pack of wild goons decides to jettison his 48-inch frame into a vat of neon chemicals.  I'll level with you.  I wanted to like this flick, but I'm not so sure that I did.  There are a couple of reasons for that, and this is where I'll point you in the direction of the second paragraph.

At several points during the 2025 (or 2023, depending on which website you're using as a reference guide) version of The Toxic Avenger, it strains to be vulgar.  It tries too hard to offend you.  The original was effortlessly blue.  It didn't try to be anything; it just was what it was.  As for the bloodshed, yes, the violence is over-the-top.  However, nothing is particularly shocking or rewind-worthy.  As silly as it sounds, I was expecting dead kids.  Where are all the dead kids???  What's more, the polished nature of Toxie '25 ends up working against the film, in my estimation.  It definitely doesn't feel trashy.  The acting is fine.  I dug Kevin Bacon as the villainous Bob Garbinger.  And again, Dinklage does a splendid job anchoring everything.  I'm going to have to go with 2.5 Z'Dars.  By all means, form your own opinion.  To tell you the truth, I've never been a huge Troma fan to begin with.  I do have a few sick Toxic Crusaders comic books in my collection, and no, you can't have them.

Listener DOMination

So Liquid Metal on Sirius XM has a show called Listener Domination where you can send in three "requests" that they might play.  I just sent my e-mail.  If chosen, I'll be asked to record an audio spot for my songs.  It's all incredibly dorky.  Why not, right?  If you're curious, my tunes are Death's "Zero Tolerance," Cannibal Corpse's "Festering in the Crypt," and Dissection's "God of Forbidden Light."

Blood Capsule #347

MY UNCLE THE ALIEN (1996)

1999's Bats is a decent time waster.  I was going to review it until a friend came over and we watched...this.  This flick defies description.  It's not a horror film, but I'm forgoing the necessary criteria for a review subject.  That sort of thing can be waived on the grounds that, well, it's my site.  So there.  You can tell that My Uncle the Alien was never meant to be reviewed.  It was never meant to be dissected or analyzed by mere mortals.  I think director Henri Charr (more on him in a minute) just figured that no one would ever see this uncanny schlock.  And he's right, but I saw it.  I saw what you did, Henri!  The storyline centers around the president's daughter.  It's all very Hallmark, although I can't find proof that Uncle/Alien was made for television.  Anyway, the First Brat has been friends with an extraterrestrial for awhile now.  We are told this right away in a prologue of sorts.  Zero exposition, zero explication, zero elucidation.  This kid hangs out with a visitor from the stars.  End of.  That's all we need to know, I suppose?

After we meet the principal players, little Kelly is kidnapped by a couple of dunderheads.  By the way, most of the adults here are dunderheads.  Kelly and her friends have no problem outsmarting the Secret Service.  So there's an alien, remember?  He resembles Bob Newhart.  You could easily put Bob Newhart in his place, sans make-up, and the film wouldn't be any different.  Does our alien save the day and stymie Kelly's captors?  Nope.  He literally sits and watches as they tie her to a post.  The moppet snatchers have enough time to take a breather and decide how much ransom money they should demand.  Bear in mind, we have seen the alien zap several people with a...um, zapper.  Maybe it can only be used intermittently.  Maybe it saps the alien's strength.  I'm trying to offer an explanation because My Uncle the Alien doesn't.  Spoiler alert!  Actually, I can't even remember how the plot resolves itself.  This may sound like a z-grade affair, but all nonsense considered, this is a cushy production.  At one point, the characters enter a wax museum and interact with loads of intellectual properties that couldn't have appeared in a legal capacity without some stroke behind the camera.

Before helming My Uncle the Alien, Henri Charr dabbled in smut.  My favorite title on his IMDb page would have to be 1995's Cellblock Sisters: Banished Behind Bars.  I ask you, when can we expect 4K restorations?

1K Subscriber Giveaway!!!!!!!

If you haven't noticed, I'm beginning to gain some traction on YouTube.  I've hit a thousand subscribers, so it's time for a giveaway...!  Enter.  Today.

Blood Capsule #346

FIRST MAN INTO SPACE (1959)

This film was produced by the same team that brought us 1958's Fiend Without a Face, a patently ridiculous (or brilliant) b-ticket about atomic flying brains with spinal column tails.  First Man into Space doesn't reach those heights of...um, brilliance, but it doesn't disappoint either.  Test pilot Lieut. Dan Prescott pushes the capabilities of the military's latest aeronautic gadget Y-13 to its limits.  He wants to be the first man into space, and dang it, he isn't going to let science stop him.  Unfortunately, his foolhardy ways lead him directly to hitting the eject button when his craft is stippled with atmospheric debris.  Upon falling back to Earth, Dan finds himself hideously deformed and craving human blood.  It's up to his older, wiser brother (the distinguished Chuck) to locate him and save him from himself.  We get a few stalk sequences out of the deal, although the violence is obviously suggested.  Can this creature be stopped before Y-14 is sent into the skies?  Probably.

I don't want to say that the bulk of First Man into Space is paint-by-numbers, but that's basically where we are here.  That's not necessarily a dealbreaker.  I know I was on board.  Things get a little more interesting toward the finale.  Dan becomes a tragic figure, as entering a high-altitude chamber (and yes, I had to do some digging to suss out the proper terminology) grants him the ability to communicate for the first time since his mutation.  I've got to be honest.  As a regular guy, he was a nettlesome twerp.  As a humanoid blanketed in space dust, he has pathos.  I actually felt bad for him.  I have to give the script credit for sidestepping an unseemly scene where Chuck professes his love for his brother's girlfriend.  I was ready to roll my eyes.  Thankfully, it never happened.  We're close to 4-Z'Dar terrain, but look, I can't lose my cool over every monster movie I run across.  Still, check this one out.

An announcement...announcement!

All I really want in life is Kelly Bundy.  Is that asking too much?  Sorry, I'm off-topic already.  Anyway!  Give me a week or so.  And then!  I'll make a major announcement.  Please note that this is not related to the giveaway I'll be announcing on YouTube in the coming days.  This is something else.  Something big.  Don't worry; you won't miss it.  It's that big.

Blood Capsule #345

CUJO (1983)

Would you believe I had never seen Cujo until last night?  Makes no sense, especially considering how I love dogs and Stephen King adaptations alike.  I haven't read the source material.  Of course, King doesn't remember writing it, so at least we're on level playing field.  He's on record as enjoying this flick, and I'd put it in the top five or so if we're ranking King adaptations from the 80's.  I was taken aback by its intensity.  The effects crew managed to turn a fluffy St. Bernard into a frothing, mud-soused monster.  That couldn't have been easy.  Fan favorite Dee Wallace Stone gives a tense performance as a conflicted mother who can't leave her car for the entire second half of the film.  The "plot," if you can call it that, totally worked for me.  I will say, I didn't care for the adultery subplot.  In the end, it didn't add anything beneficial to the narrative, unless you're really into uncomfortable sex scenes.  I don't mind a flawed protagonist, but it just came off as distasteful.

Danny Pintauro is believable as Dee's son.  I'm sure the characters have names, but I've gone this far without doing any research.  Normally, forgetting names would be a red flag.  However, Dee Wallace is always Dee Wallace to me.  She's too pure for this world, I tell you.  Director Lewis Teague keeps the pace cracking.  He also keeps the fog machine industry afloat.  I almost expected to see Christopher Lee emerge from the shadows, cape and all.  Speaking of Dracula, when are we getting Cujo vs. Zoltan?  And where is the fundraising campaign to stop Netflix from remaking Cujo?  There has to be an anti-kickstarter somewhere.  Anyway, good movie.  That's the review.

Ultra Q

A giveaway announcement...announcement!

Blood Capsule #344

SAWBONES (1995)

The first time I watched this film, I noted that all of the backdrops looked like the inside of my eyelids.  Then I realized I was unconscious.  Yes, I had to sit through Sawbones twice to review it.  It actually wasn't the movie's fault that I fell asleep, although our villain seemed to be snoozing through the death sequences.  I would accuse producer Roger Corman of ripping off Dr. Giggles, but why on Earth would he?  No one cared about Dr. Giggles, this in spite of my push to have Larry Drake's blood-stained smock from the cult slasher accepted into the Smithsonian.  Regardless, Sawbones is no Dr. Giggles.  It tells the tale of a medical student who doesn't react well to being rejected by the admissions department of a prestigious university.  Technically, he doesn't react at all.  Don Harvey's performance as the lunatic William Knapp (I couldn't dream of a more suitable appellation) can only be described as drowsy.  He has the appearance of Patrick Bateman, but he has the personality of Patrick Bateman's ideal business card, even down to the subtle off-white coloring.

Our main character is an aimless lass by the name of Jenny.  She doesn't have her ducks in a row, which I found refreshing.  Moreover, she's easy on the eyes.  Her boyfriend, another doctor, is just as dull as Dr. Not Giggles.  Oddly, the cast is fitted with Mad TV alumni Phil LaMarr (as a co-worker) and Michael McDonald (as a flamboyant metrosexual in handcuffs at a police station).  Aside from Jenny, everyone is either bored or boring.  The kills are nasty in theory, but we don't see much.  Come to think of it, I don't remember Sawbones having any special effects, unless you count a prop skeleton.  And yet somehow, the third act is entertaining.  There is a car chase, and Jenny plays a cat-and-mouse game of sorts with the screwball surgeon.  Eh, three Z'Dars should cover it.  Recommended to fans of waking up in the middle of surgery.

Iron Supplements #9

VERMINOUS KNIGHT

I'm a big fan of Lamp of Murmuur.  That's pertinent information because clicking around on Lamp's Metal Archives page is how I discovered Verminous Knight.  And thus, an Iron Supplement was born.  This project has released one full-length album.  No demos, no EPs, no rehearsal tapes (Satan forbid)...how could it be black metal???  But it is.  And it's rock solid black metal, if you ask me.  There is nothing transformative or trailblazing on Malignant Descent, but after giving it a thorough listen, I can tell that it's going to attach itself to my grey matter and demand repeat visits.  Musically, it's a little more traditional than Lamp.  By that I mean, it relies on dreary tremolo runs and oppressive keyboards.  Right now, my favorite song is "Honorless Hearts, Blood Predators."  Check it out, yo.

Aside from the drums, Verminous Knight is a one-man trip.  Of course, that man (Sanguinous Moth) is in, like, fourteen other bands.  Yeah, it's definitely black metal.

Blood Capsule #343

TROLL (1986)

So I watched Troll last night.  I wasn't going to review it, but I had an epiphany.  "Dom," I said.  "Why not review Troll?"  Okay, so it wasn't quite an epiphany.  When I was a kid, we rented Troll, but I only remember bits and pieces of it.  I recalled Phil Fondacaro emerging from a plant.  And that's about it.  I don't even know that I've seen Troll 2 as an adult, which worries me.  Is there a support hotline for people who haven't seen Troll 2?  All I know is that I had a blast with Troll.  If Claudio Fragasso's embattled sequel is the "worst movie ever," this has to be considered the best.  Doesn't it?  Am I alone on this island?  Let's try to piece a synopsis together.  You've got a family who has just moved into an apartment building.  The dad is Michael Moriarty.  Sidenote...he is friggin' incredible.  His performance here - coupled with his life-affirming turn in It's Alive III: Island of the Alive - has to put him in the running as one of the greatest actors of his generation.  Doesn't it??

Anyway, a random troll appears in the basement.  Magic is afoot, as the insatiable Torok tries to convert each apartment into a frightful Ferngully.  The only person who can stop him is a former princess who conveniently lives in the same complex.  By the way, the role(s) of Eunice is so perfectly casted, I thought we were seeing one actress in aged make-up.  But no, it's the mother-daughter team of June and Anne Lockhart.  Again, they are perfect.  Also perfect?  Phil Fondacaro as the scene-stealing Malcolm.  I thought it was interesting that Torok wanted to help him.  You would expect the main villain to be 100% evil, what with this being a fantasy.  Instead, Troll paints in shades.  Shades of what, I don't know.  The creature effects are fantastic, and I wish that every movie was directed by John Carl Beuchler.  His resume is spotless, if you ask me.  I think I'll watch Troll 2 tonight.  At the very least, I hope it ruins my day.

Random Match Alert

Look, it's Max Moon!  Don't ask questions.  It's Max Moon (versus Rick Martel).

Blood Capsule #342

R.L. STINE'S PUMPKINHEAD (2025)

I'm writing this on the 22nd of October, but if all goes according to plan, this review should publish on Halloween.  So first of all, Happy Halloween!  I couldn't think of a better way to celebrate than to take a look at the latest R.L. Stine creation.  Oddly, he doesn't seem to have written this one.  It's not based on one of his stories, although it's informed by his childhood experiences.  Somehow.  The story of Pumpkinhead was actually "adapted" for an episode of The Haunting Hour, his anthology series that aired on Discovery Family in the 2010's.  Some details were changed for this feature, but apparently, it was always called Pumpkinhead.  And that's just not right.  Couldn't they come up with a title that wasn't already associated with a well-known intellectual property?  I'm digressing.  This flick is a Tubi original, and tonally, it will remind you of Goosebumps and Are You Afraid of the Dark?.  Having said that, it doesn't pull any gut punches.  Yes, death is involved.

13-year-old Sam moves to a quaint municipality that is headlong into a harvest festival.  Well, Sam decides to be a prick and steal a pumpkin from the man responsible for saving the town of Redhaven from destitution.  It soon becomes obvious that there is something off about this pumpkin.  Without spoiling too much, I'll tell you that we get to see an evil scarecrow, which sadly, makes Pumpkinhead the best "killer scarecrow" movie since 1995's Night of the Scarecrow.  This is a fun spookshow that will entertain kids and adults alike.  There are two major hindrances that hold this hayride back from glory.  The main character is aggressively unlikeable to the point that you begin relating to the supposed antagonists.  Also, we are asked to suspend disbelief to an improbable degree.  I try not to get too fussy when it comes to plot holes, but wow.  If you've seen Pumpkinhead, I'm referring to the trick-or-treating scene where the sheriff is hoodwinked into believing that his daughter has stayed in to hand out candy.  Again, wow.  Why didn't they simply leave instead of switching costumes with a couple of strangers???

Anyway, I dug the autumnal atmosphere.  Lots of orange.  R.L. Stine's Pumpkinhead should be approached with low expectations, but I was able to chill out and have moderate fun with it.  You better believe that I'm deducting a half-Z'Dar for that title, though.

Why does 20 Buck Spin have a negative connotation?

Check out my latest YouTube video!  Expect a new Iron Supplement early next week and...maybe other stuff!?

Blood Capsule #341 (Special Edition)

What's a Special Edition?  It's a series where I review one of my favorites.  These are films that would appear in my Top 50 or so (if I endeavored to compile such a list).

ANACONDA (1997)

My timing is impeccable.  Just a few days ago, the trailer for the Anaconda reboot dropped (I'm writing this in September).  My only question is, why?  Why is it a comedy starring Jack Black?  Whose idea was this?  My head is swimming with questions.  Now, will I see the new Anaconda?  Um, that's none of your business.  I can say that the original holds up seventy-three years later.  Of course, I rented it when it hit home video, and for some reason, we watched it in high school.  I mean, we watched it in class.  It must have been a slow day.  Anyway, I'm not going to tell you anything that you don't already know.  This movie rules.  Jennifer Lopez and Ice Cube are hellbent on shooting a documentary on lost tribes of the Amazon.  Instead, they wind up shooting a "found footage" slasher where Jon Voight - playing himself - stalks and murders a family of green anacondas.  It's horrifying.  Sorry, that's the only synopsis you're getting out of me.

Catching Anaconda in 2025, I was struck by the plurality of animatronic effects.  Yes, the CGI is there (and despite being in its infancy, it's far better than expected), but the actors are working with convincing models of varying sizes.  I've always had trouble convincing models of varying sizes...I shouldn't finish that sentence.  All of the violence is stomach-churning, a PG-13 rating be damned.  Personally, I was bothered more by the makeshift tracheotomy on Eric Stoltz than I was any of the snake deaths.  Eric Stoltz on his own is enough to send me scurrying to the bathroom.  Pacing-wise, this flick is fleet-footed.  I don't really know how it spawned sequels (or a reboot, for that matter), but it's pretty much perfect as a cheese-flavored popcorn ball.  Okay, I do know how it spawned sequels.  I forgot that it fared well at the box office.  Even if you don't consider yourself to be a fan, you have to concede that Anaconda is superior to Boa, Python, and Boa vs. Python.

What's that?  A second Random Reptile Month on the horizon?  Not.  A.  Chance.  I'm more likely to dive into Random Jon Voight Month.  Actually, I'm more likely to dive into Jon Voight.

Now Playing #25

Dissection - Reinkaos

I'm a late bloomer when it comes to Dissection.  I've apprised myself of the classics.  Yes, there is something special about The Somberlain and Storm of the Light's Bane, but if I'm being perfectly honest, I...almost prefer Reinkaos?  Don't lynch me.  Okay, lynch me.  I've tried to "get into" the first two albums because as a metalhead, that's what I'm supposed to do.  But yeah, no.  I put off listening to Reinkoas, perhaps in response to its reputation as a subordinate clunker.  I genuinely don't get it.  Why is it scorned so?  The riffs are less melodic, but the leads are still silky smooth.  I dig the solos on "Black Dragon" and "God of Forbidden Light."  The title track, a layered instrumental, might contain my favorite bits of guitar lickery here.  "Dark Mother Divine" is epic, even if it's mostly mid-paced.  I have to say, if we had gotten a fourth Dissection long player, I wouldn't have been opposed to more material in this vein.  Oh well.

Hey, why do Satanists love dragons so much anyway?  Inquiring minds want to know.

Hooded Menace - Lachrymose Monuments of Obscuration

In the lead-up to this album's release, I went back and devoured the entire Hooded Menace discography.  Geez, what a band.  As much as I'm enjoying Lachrymose, I'm going to start with some constructive criticism.  The guitar tone.  Dude, Fulfill the Curse and Never Cross the Dead are bone-crushing.  This record (and 2021's The Tritonus Bell) sounds homogenized.  The riffs themselves are fine, but they come off as sterile.  Maybe it's the shift in songwriting.  Musically, I hear just as much traditional metal as I do doomy death metal.  Exhibit A: The closing riff of "Pain Masquerade."  That's very nearly Skid Row.  Now, I love Skid Row, so that's not a gargantuan obstacle.  Whatever.  On the whole, Hooded Menace has retained their Hooded Menace-ness.  "Lugubrious Dance" is my favorite cut of blind dead meat.  I'm all about the fiendish leads.  The leads, man!

These tunes may not be stupidly heavy, but they're worth playing in your cemetery of choice.  Year-end list?  It's very possible.  Oh, the Duran Duran cover.  I usually skip it.  It is what it is.

Blood Capsule #340

CRAWL (2019)

Crawl is twelve minutes shorter than Rogue.  So I'm tackling Crawl.  Normally, I wouldn't let you in on my selection process, but you should know that I'm just as brainless as the movies that I review.  Perhaps that's unfair.  This flick does have a brain.  It has the heart, however, of a French "survival horror" endurance test from about fifteen years earlier.  It was directed by Alexandre Aja, and it feels more like his High Tension than Alligator.  But is that a good thing or a bad thing?  From where I'm sitting, it's merely a thing.  It does hit strange to watch a gritty, ultra-realistic take on the "nature runs amok" subgenre.  To that end, I was reminded of 1977's Day of the Animals.  Again, that's neither good nor bad.  Crawl tells the simple story of a woman checking on her father during a hurricane.  Tempestuous flooding forces them into the crawlspace where they butt heads with a deadly mongoose.  Kidding!  There are gators afoot and afloat.  What happens when the levee breaks?  If only it was just a Led Zeppelin song.

Crawl's sizeable budget allows for polished special effects that extend to cool, atmospheric shots of inclement weather.  Sometimes, stormclouds are creepier than monsters.  The characters are sympathetic, but bits of exposition that develop their backstories come across as forced.  I get it, though.  There are only so many ways to establish that two people have a fractured relationship.  Thankfully, the acting from Kaya Scodelario and Barry Pepper is on-point.  Props to the stunt crew.  This couldn't have been an easy film to shoot.  It makes me wonder what other reptile romps would have been able to accomplish with the same amount of money.  In any event, Crawl is a suspenseful, well-structured sit at the cinema.  If I'm being honest, I prefer Alligator and Lake Placid.  There is something to be said for cult appeal.  Recommended for fans of Doppler radars.