The Soda Jerk #4

Brisk Sweet Iced Tea

I couldn't find a suitable image for this drink, which means it's another hard-to-find pop. And I know that tea isn't carbonated, but some consider it to be a pop of sorts. That's good enough for me. Before I get into the flavor, I want to talk about the label and the hideously offensive marketing that Lipton chose to push this drink. The website is groomed to appeal to urbanites, and I don't just mean people in big cities. The color scheme is mostly dark, there is a boombox in the corner, and there is an image of a black chick with an afro.

Of course, tacky hip-hop seeps from your speakers as soon as you visit the page. Now, I'm not one to call racism as a knee-jerk reaction to anything that is remotely un-PC, but this is ridiculous. The can is even black! A black can for a "fun, refreshing" beverage. Yeah, that's appropriate. As for the tea itself, it's so-so. It's canned sweet tea, so it's not going to be spectacular. Nothing beats home-brewed tea curdled with enough sugar to make your teeth rot.

Cane sugar, that is. Not high fructose corn syrup, a crack-like substance that pervades every soda in the solar system. Why the fine folks at Lipton would opt to use artificial levulose (I took chemistry...no, I didn't) is anyone's guess. Nestea contains the same stuff, which is why I've never been a Nestea consumer. If I had to compare the two teas, I'd go with Brisk, only because it tastes better with ice. At that point, it becomes literal iced tea, and I can't say no to literal iced tea.

It's important to note that I'm not referring to Brisk Lemon Iced Tea. That's different, although it tastes the same, in my opinion. If you don't mind a racist label and a manufactured flavor, I suppose that Brisk Sweet Iced Tea is...tolerable? I'm not kidding; I'm surprised that a litigious person hasn't sued the shit out of Lipton over this. If you're bored and curious, head over to the OFFICIAL WEBSITE. Maybe I'm sensitive to perceived "isms" because I'm a minority, but I think you'll see what I mean. Robert Z'Dar says, "The shadow beneath my chin is offended!"

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