Matches That Time Forgot #47

For those reading this column for the first time, I should begin by saying that not every match featured is a midcard mess.  In fact, I've covered five-star classics.  The only criteria I employ is that the contest in question must be...well, forgotten.  The title is self-explanatory, I suppose.  I do have a qualmish, preternatural proclivity for daffy gimmicks and obscure tag teams.  It can't be helped.

Today's bout incriminates Harlem Heat (with a potted Sister Sherri in tow) and Stars & Stripes.  The latter team was comprised of The Patriot and Marcus Bagwell.  Should I gloat that I met Bagwell?  I snatched his autograph last year, mainly because he was the next guy in line.  He looks exactly the same, by the way.  Kind of creepy.  He formed so many extraneous tag teams in WCW, that he probably role-plays in the bedroom to habituate his muscle memory.  "Okay, I'll be Vicious, and you be Delicious!"

Shot in December of '94 and aired in January of '95, this match was for tag team gold.  The first half is competent, but the referee (Brad Maddox Sr.?) depredates Harlem Heat's isolation tactics by allowing The Patriot to rush into the ring.  It's almost as if he said, "Fuck it."  Everything breaks down and voila!  Booker T. and Stevie Ray are your new champions!  In my admittedly cataract-coated eyes, Harlem Heat might be the most underrated tag tandem of all time.  They were certainly the most dominant team of the 90's, even more so than The New Age Outlaws.  If you count their pre-WCW incumbency, the Huffman brothers were together for the whole decade.

We'll just pretend that Harlem Heat 2000 never happened.  But it did.  Sweet God, it did!

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