8/11/16
What a jerk; the condom broke!
I now understand unplanned pregnancies. No, I didn't inoculate a birdie with my berry; I stammered upon a goddamn miracle at a grocery store. My friends...oh, my friends. I will be posting an edition of The Soda Jerk (late) tomorrow night. It will not be a part of The Soda Jerk Unbound, which will continue after I get this soda out of my system. Literally, as I'm sure it will pass through my urinary tract by then.
I'm super stoked. I haven't actually tried it yet. You can guess the identity of the wonder-working amrita if you want, but you'll probably be wrong. It's not that one. Nopers, not that one either.
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