Lyme disease is a vector-borne malady spread by ticks. Common symptoms include rash, headache, fever, and fatigue. Sorry, my mind has been occupied my medical factoids for the past couple of weeks, as I've been incredibly sick, maybe the sickest I've ever been in my life. I don't mention it for pity. I'm slowly, slowly getting better. Recent episodes of Raw have reminded me of ticks, in particular, an old episode of House centering around the parasitic arachnids. Remember House, the show about a hobbled, pill-popping genius who solved bizarre cases each week?
If I recall correctly, the second season featured a mystery where a little girl fell ill from a presumed tincture of Lyme disease. Only one problem...they couldn't find the tick! It was definitely still attached, but where? In the eleventh hour, the girl's vitals were dropping when House followed a hunch and reached into her snatch. No, really. Tick found. Tick removed. Child healed. Are you beginning to see the parallel I'm making here? Vince McMahon is the tick in our scenario. Triple H is House, and he has successfully extracted an infection from the snatch of sports entertainment. For the love of all that is holy, sterilize those tweezers.
Look, it's still not a perfect show. There are no flawless promotions, unless you're watching through the lens of nostalgia. The first item on the docket should be to axe the third hour. I don't even think that sporting events should last three hours. At least with a football game, you get a breather in the form of halftime. Wrestling fans receive no such luxury. And I would probably unify every title, but that's a minor quibble.
So far, the smartest decision that Triple H has made is promoting Io Shirai to Raw (name change notwithstanding). I'm biased, but you know I'm right! At house shows, Io has been working with Asuka in singles bouts. Yes, yes, YES. That's all I've ever wanted. Years ago in Japan, they teamed together alongside Mio, Io's sister. These ladies have chemistry on top of chemistry. I mean, if I had my druthers, they would main event Wrestlemania. Then again, if I had my druthers, I would be Io's mouthpiece. If that sounded salacious, it's because it was salacious. I will not stand down.
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