THE DARK (1979)
Well, that was abysmal. Ironically enough, I missed out on the opportunity to see The Dark on the big screen years ago at a movie marathon. Hindsight suggests that my fate was fortuitous. Where do I even begin? I worry about any theater patrons who caught this sci-fi sedative during its initial run. I'm afraid it may be revealed that watching The Dark has the same effect on the central nervous system as inhaling carbon monoxide. Okay, that's enough critic quotes for the inevitable 4k restoration. Let's anatomize the plot, shall we? An alien dressed for Casual Friday crash lands in the bustling bowels of Los Angeles. Reporters and detectives are puzzled by a recent rash of murders that don't seem to have any connective tissue, unless you count the blood samples collected at each crime scene. I bet the alien is involved.
Usually, films that had a frazzled production history have some cult appeal. This one is mind-numbingly boring. That's hard to believe, seeing as how the alien shoots lasers out of his eyes. John "Bud" Cardos occupied the director's chair to bail out a transient Tobe Hooper. It doesn't feel like The Dark was directed by anyone at all. Random shots linger for no reason, and most of the "action" is lost in a sea of black. I've heard of day-for-night photography, but this is ridiculous. Was the film shot on asphalt and edited with electrical tape? Needless to say, my mind wandered here and there. By the time we arrived at a resolution, I had my grocery list done. I need more macaroni and cheese, by the way. And fresh milk! Yeah, The Dark is laborious. I can only recommend the last five minutes. Those other minutes? Optional at best.
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