This movie is fucking stupid. I'm sorry, but this will be my least intellectual review to date. I'm pissed off. Let me break it down for you...Razortooth is like a Syfy Channel original, only worse. Imagine the most generic "killer animal" flick on the planet, add an unattractive cast, and tack on the horrors of digital video. That's Razortooth. I HATE digital video. Now, I realize that the creative team behind this bollix were working with limited funds, but how expensive could it possibly be to shoot on 35mm film? Hell, I'll take 16mm over digital dreck. Fuck, this is a bad movie. It's the opposite of good. It's bad.
You want a detailed analysis? Fuck that! I don't have the patience. All you need to know is that Razortoooth contains annoying characters, clunky CGI, cartoonish gore, and a sacrilegious boobtease (we get a shower scene and a sex scene that skimps on nudity). I'm done with this one. By the way, "Razortooth" is a genetically altered eel. Doesn't that sound exciting? Consider this review cut short. Stupid fucking movie.
My name is Dom Coccaro. I'm an established freelance writer. I like to write reviews, but I find that it's hard to find review-writing gigs on the Internet that pay more than $0.00. I don't like being boxed in and I don't like to constantly give my writing away for free, especially if it's not on my own website. So I created this blog. I'm free to review anything I want to, though I'll be mainly focusing on horror, metal and wrestling. Often times, my review selections will seem incredibly random. Randomness is underrated. Thus, Random Reviews has been birthed from my cavernous vagina.
PS-This blog is rated R for profane language.
(mini-review)
Dom, Syfy Oriignal? 'Nuff said. Good rant though.
ReplyDeleteHonestly, arent there Romanians that will for for $.50 a day that can at least look hot even if the movie is shit?
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