Parts Unknown #63: Raw

No time for an intro. I've got three hours of sports entertainment to sift through!


~ CM Punk making a stand, arguing with the anonymous general manager, spreading his snow wings and vowing to take the WWE Championship with him when he leaves the company on the morning after Money in the Bank. All of it was perfect. If he really does say goodbye to the WWE Universe, Raw will be in a world of hurt.

~ I would have preferred either Eve Torres or Beth Phoenix, but I'll let Kelly Kelly slide. It was good to see her react to winning her first championship. It almost makes the Diva's title seem important. Did the Bella bitch even bat an eye when she became a champion?

~ The arm wrestling match gone awry. Mark Henry impressed me. He will never elope to the main event, but he is making the most out of his situation. Dug the table spot.

~ R-Truth. Need I say more? He has created an interesting character that stands out in a crowd of safe babyfaces and pablum heels. I couldn't write more indelible one-liners if I was forced to at gunpoint.

~ The "two out of three falls" United States Championship match between Dolph Ziggler and Kofi Kingston. I'm deducting points since the first fall occurred during a commercial break, but this was still a nice chunk of wrestling. It was refreshing to see a DQ finish that didn't feel like a cop-out.

~ CM Punk, Rey Mysterio and Alberto Del Rio worked one of the best Triple Threat matches that I've ever witnessed. It was seamless. Match of the year candidate. I shit you not.


~ They can give all of the excuses they want; the voting was fucking rigged. No one wanted Evan Bourne to square off against Mason Ryan.

~ I'm sick of these "hot tag" main events. Hey, let's throw everyone into the ring! Rhyme and reason? We won't be needing any of that.

~ The goddamn dance-off.

~ The absence of a certain Long Island Iced superstar is deplorable enough, but where the fuck has Drew McIntyre been? Oh, that's right. Both men wrestled on the show that Vince doesn't want to promote.

The cons sting, but looking back, this was a strong episode. We got great promos and great wrestling. They should put the three-hour format to bed for awhile, though.

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