Suburban Commando

After watching Suburban Commando, I went back and watched The Nostalgia Critic's review of the film. While it's true that this family-friendly sci-fi romp could be called Bad 90's Movie, I had fun with it. How could I not enjoy it? It combines "old school" wrestling icons with cheesy creature effects and laser gun shootouts. Dom, did you say icons? As in more than one? Yes. Yes, I did. This is no secret to wrestling fans, but Mark Calaway (a.k.a. The Undertaker) plays one of the bounty hunters. I geeked out when he first appeared on screen, and I subsequently ruminated on my fruitless attempts to find a soulmate.

Dying alone. It's my greatest fear. What? Oh, the movie. It's about a space warrior named Shep who is forced to lay low on Earth to recharge his hovercraft in between epic battles. Uh-oh! It looks like we have a fish out of water on our hands! The jokes will write themselves. Actually, Commando is pretty funny. I wasn't crying with laughter, but the playful, lighthearted script managed to cajole my jaded sensibilities. I think that I even smiled at one point. It goes without saying that Hulk Hogan is a horrid actor. His performance is truly wretched, but surprisingly, he didn't aggravate me too much.

The rest of the cast is dependable. Christopher Lloyd does his job, although it's hard to buy him as a normal citizen. Shelley Duvall is...Shelley Duvall. Likewise, Larry Miller impersonates himself. Spoiler alert! His character is smarmy. I'm going to skip ahead and discuss the special effects. This was a mainstream picture, but if I didn't know any better, I'd say that it was released by Vidmark Entertainment. The production values are inordinately shoddy. I'm not exaggerating when I say that Arena had more convincing set pieces, and it was produced by Charles Band!

The only effect that works is the badass creature suit that shows up for the climax. So at least I got my monster fix. Suburban Commando is dragged down by plot holes and a couple of false endings, but I'd be lying if I said that I wasn't entertained throughout. Hollywood fluff has its place. A friend of mine described this flick as easy, and that's probably the best way to describe it. It's very easy to watch. To use a wrestling analogy, it's the cinematic equivalent of a squash match. Ding, ding, ding!

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