Parts Unknown #78: Superstars

This "review" pertains to an episode of Superstars dated June 6, 1994 (I believe that the actual airdate was June 4). I'm forgoing the pros/cons format in favor of something more simplistic. This is a simplistic show, folks. Up until 1996, Superstars featured jobber squashes 85% of the time. You'll still discover golden nuggets here and there, which is why I enjoy exhuming these time capsules. And away we go!

~ Oh, fuck. Vince is dancing to Mabel's entrance music. Men on a Mission were still a legitimate tag team by this point, but for whatever reason, Mr. McMahon was experimenting with a Mabel singles push. I'll never understand it. Viscera was badass (Big Daddy V I can take or leave), but of all people to crown King of the Ring, they chose Mabel? Whatever. Iron Mike Sharpe gets squashed harder than the left side of Taker's face. Cue ICO-PRO commercial.

~ Nikolai Volkoff? Really? Admittedly, he could execute a handful of power moves, but I can't imagine a 10-year-old boy jumping out of bed on Saturday morning to watch Volkoff manhandle Derek Domino. I get that they had to peddle the "fake Undertaker" angle, but DiBiase managed other guys they could have sent to the ring. The terse Paul Bearer promo is gnarly. "I haven't even seen my Undertaker!"

~ King of the Ring report! Usually, these are throwaway segments, but this one is a dandy. Roddy Piper cuts a fierce promo in the privacy of his own home. We also learn about an upcoming live event where Bret Hart will square off against Owen Hart in a 60-minute Iron Man match. Holy fucking shit. Where can I find that beauty? Seriously, I'd give my spleen to see that match.

~ Tatanka versus an animated Reno Riggins ("I have no reservations about beating up this Indian!"). Nice.

~ Finally, the mid-show main event...Adam Bomb takes on Kwang in an encounter that Dave Meltzer described as "a match." Obviously, Bomb's face turn was one of the most important moments in wrestling history. It changed the industry. The match itself ended in a countout after three minutes of sloppy brawling.