Parts Unknown #101: Raw

I plan on sticking with Raw until Wrestlemania. After that, who knows? Last night marked the ablution of The Attitudinal Era. Because the best way to get wrestling back on the map is to use foul language.

PROS

~ It was imbecilic, but I'd be lying if I said that I didn't crack a smile upon seeing the grand return of Thug Cena. His rap was short and sweet. The "Rock concert" was long and sweet. And here I thought Vince wanted Cena to have the upper hand. I'm confused.

~ The Ziggler/Sheamus match. These are two guys we see a lot of week in, week out. In spite of their oversaturation, I enjoyed this voracious back-and-forth. The cutaway to Daniel Bryan was amusing, if not poorly acted.

~ Shawn Michaels was a decent talker in the 90's, but his recent mic work has been outstanding. He was one step ahead of the crowd, and he was two steps ahead of The Undertaker. More on this segment later.

~ Jericho's cutting promo alongside CM Punk's believable reaction. As expected, this has been the most gratifying feud leading up to Wrestlemania 28.

CONS

~ I'm glad that Brodus Clay is back, but when are they actually going to do something with him? Why can't he spar with Jinder Mahal? Neither man will be ascending to the main event anytime soon, so why not establish an angle?

~ Oh, Phenom. Why are you still rusty on the mic? You're better than this. You repeated yourself too many times, you seemed unsure, you wavered, you were borderline aphonic...shockingly, you passed up a golden opportunity to broach the kayfabe history you have with HBK. I realize that primordial storylines are typically ignored, but in 1997, Shawn Michaels "accidentally" cost you the title during a knock-down drag-out scuffle against Bret "The Hitman" Hart (as the special guest referee, no less). Maybe mention it? Or at least mention The Montreal Screwjob? This stuff writes itself!

~ Why in the aquamarine fuck is Kane gunning for Randy Orton? It doesn't make a lick of sense.

~ The presence of Aksana, Santino and David Otunga.

~ The absence of Drew McIntyre, The Uso's and...any tag team whatsoever (where are the champions?).

I heard that Sid no-showed the Smackdown tapings. Tisk, tisk.