Parts Unknown #94: Smackdown

As per usual, Smackdown was better than Raw. It did have its fair share of fuck-ups, though.


~ It's obvious where Daniel Bryan's situation is heading, but I like it all the same. I'm hoping that this program will put A.J. Lee in position to cut in front of other Diva's in line to receive a push. She's just as talented as she is gorgeous. Of course, if you're a regular reader, you know that I have been one of her biggest advocates for awhile now. You would also know that I want to put my penis inside of her. Any orifice will do. I'm not picky.

~ Cody Rhodes. His promo was solid (he gets brownie points for name-dropping The Ultimate Warrior), and he wrangled a sprightly match out of Ezekiel Jackson.

~ Ordinarily, I would bemoan the fact that Drew McIntyre was on the losing end of a match, but I get the impression that there are good things in store for The Chosen One. I mean, this isn't some faceless jobber we're talking about. At least he isn't being wasted on NXT.

~ David Otunga's new finisher.

~ Since I no longer cover Raw, I didn't get a chance to chime in on Brodus Clay's controversial re-debut. Personally, I dig his new gimmick. The last thing that the WWE needs is another generic monster heel. Give me colorful characters. I miss the days of The Undertaker, Big Boss Man, "Macho Man" Randy Savage, The Honky Tonk Man, Demolition, Bret "The Hitman" Hart, Doink the Clown, etc...sure, Funkasaurus might just be an extra-large Flash Funk, but he's fun to watch.


~ Justin Gabriel shouldn't need outside interference to win a match, especially if it's coming from a goddamn dwarf. He's a babyface. This is Booking 101, folks.

~ Keep Santino out of the ring. Enough is enough.

~ The Diva's division is so puny, it's unbelievable. Hell, the champion hasn't been on television in weeks. Just retire the belt.

~ No tag team action?

Night, night.

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