Exivious - EXIVIOUS

I should warn you that this review will be loaded with similes. I do my best to avoid the exploitation of literary devices, but this album calls for baroque metonymy. I'm going to objectify the English language like Dario Argento objectifies his daughter's mouth-watering bare flesh. Describing Exivious is no easy task. If you listen to jazz fusion on a regular basis, you should already be familiar with this eclectic cartel of musicians. The line-up boasts members of Cynic and Pestilence. Naturally, Cynic is the first point of reference that critics fall back on, and it doesn't take a rocket scientist to draw parallels between the two bands. They both play progressive metal that ratchets melody and technicality up to inconceivable heights.

Cynic and Exivious part ways when it comes to vocals. Paul Masvidal employs abrasive growling and vocoder-enhanced crooning in the former group, while the latter group steps back and leaves all of the expressive emoting to the music itself. That's right; Exivious is an instrumental outfit. If that's a deal breaker from where you're sitting, then I have no use for you as a human being. Perhaps I'm overstating the obvious, but I'm hyper-sensitive to the "musically challenged." A friend of mine once played Metallica's "Orion" during English class in High School, and the majority of my fellow students derided the song for its lack of vocals. I'm not sure what I was expecting from a bunch of jocks and cheerleaders, but still, it pissed me off. Anyway!

There are scads of bands who claim to be jazz/metal hybrids. I've given most of them a chance, but with very few exceptions, I didn't hear much jazz. Exivious is the genuine article. As a matter of fact, this album is more jazz than metal. Everything from the time signatures to the rhythmic phrasing to the chord progressions to the plaintive melodies...every inch of it screams jazz. And it's fucking amazing. These guys are supremely talented. Hell, "talented" is almost an affront. "Virtuoso" is closer to the truth, though it doesn't do Exivious justice. You have to listen to all nine tracks to truly appreciate the chops on display. I'd start with "Ripple of a Tear" if I were you.

There are a couple of ways that you can enjoy this eponymous debut. You can focus on each note, attentively ingesting the subtleties that are hidden in pockets of dulcet polyphony. You can also treat it as background music. Often times, I'll pop this puppy in before I write. Whatever the case, Exivious provides perfect ambiance for any occasion. This is beginning to sound like a press release. I promise that I'm not affiliated with this band; I'm just addicted to their music. If only they would churn out a follow-up! I can't recommend Exivious enough. I haven't even mentioned the articulate bass, the limber drumming or the warm production. Good luck finding an affordable copy. Limited availability is the sole flaw tainting this record. I could tell you where I got my disc, but I'm not exactly proud of having to resort to...well, y'know.

No, I didn't fuck one of the band members. Jesus. Hmm, I didn't exploit as many literary devices as I thought I would. I'm smiling like a baby in a strip club.