Parts Unknown #66: Raw

This will be an easy column to write. Aside from CM Punk and Vince McMahon stealing the show, Raw was rather unremarkable.

PROS

~ The segments involving CM Punk and/or the chairman of the board (no, I'm not talking about Carrot Top). Say what you want about Vince (we all have), but give him credit for handing The Straight Edge Savior a blank check. He has allowed his top tweener to spread his wings. And make no mistake; CM Punk is a tweener. If my precognition proves to be prescient, he will be a babyface before you know it. As a matter of fact, I can see John Cena finally crossing over to the dark side. It won't be an abrupt Hollywood Hogan turn. I'm thinking more along the lines of a gradual Bret Hart turn that brews for several weeks until the roles are reversed. Just my opinion. Anyway, this was easily the best contract signing in the history of the WWE. "What a maneuver!"

~ The handicap match between Cena and Doink/Dink...I mean, Otunga/McGillicutty. Sure, it made the champions look weak, but they won't be champions for much longer. I'll be disappointed if they don't drop the belts to The Uso's in the next month or so.

~ The six-man tag. It was filler, but it was good filler.

~ The handicap match between The Big Show and Ziggler/McIntyre. Poor Drew. He sold like a motherfucker. Mark Henry's run-in was sweet, but it was a sign that the era of brand separation needs to be abrogated. For storyline purposes, Henry shouldn't even be at a Raw taping. This shit needs to be stamped out. Seriously, bro.

CONS

~ The backstage segment featuring Drew, Dolph and Vickie. Not funny. Too long. Entirely pointless.

~ The Melina/Kelly Kelly match. It had no flow. Kelly was rushing to get all of her stuff in. Someone needs to coach her on how to transition from one signature move to the next. Melina was okay, but it's obvious that her days are numbered. I have a sneaking suspicion that we will be referring to her as a Knockout by the end of the year. Hopefully, I'm dead wrong.

This was a decent go-home show. I read that "WWE ice cream bars" was trending on Twitter last night. It's too bad that Punk tore up his contract.