Blood Capsule #14


I didn't realize that someone filmed my life story. Hellroller is about a maniac in a wheelchair. To be more specific, Eugene is a homeless invalid ensorcelled by the urge to kill "normals," able-bodied thoroughbreds who look down on him with contempt. I understand that society hasn't always coddled the disabled, but this cinematic cigarette burn embellishes the fuck out of reality. At one point, Eugene attempts to work out at a gym. A musclebound dullard responds by tossing him onto the sidewalk and chucking his wheelchair into a dumpster. Damn! We spend a great deal of time observing street scum. Admittedly, I fancied the self-proclaimed 'King of the Bums.' He gets the best lines of the lot. "You twitching, rolling FUCK!"

You see, Eugene's biological mother was raped by conjoined twins. He was raised by his aunt, a lovely lass who is raped and murdered ten minutes into the film. Towards the climax (and I use that term loosely), our handic(r)apped hero pays a mad scientist to devise a potion that turns "normals" into freaks. In spite of the ludicrous plot, Hellroller is insufferably stodgy. I shouldn't be bored watching a well-endowed, albeit surgically enhanced stripper dance in front of...no one, but I was. Maybe because it was a static shot that dragged on for ten minutes. She is a random side character that we don't even know, mind you. This shot-on-video detritus could have been called Filler: The Movie.

The cruel kicker? Hellroller clocks in at a beggarly 72 minutes. Push this cripple into oncoming traffic.

1 comment:

  1. I never heard of this movie but it sucks that it was boring. :\