Parts Unknown #29: Raw

After the topsy-turvy Royal Rumble, I had no fucking clue what to expect out of Raw. As it turns out, it was quite decent. WWE's TV shows are usually better than their PPV's. Let's see what happened...


~ Alberto Del Rio's victory celebration was pretty funny. I still don't think that he can headline Wrestlemania, but if the mysterious "2-21-11" vignette is any indication (more on that later), he won't have to.

~ I know that everyone is pissed off about Jerry Lawler winning the 7-man battle royale, but he's doing it for the same reason why you-know-who has signed with the company that he vowed he would never sign with...old age. Lawler has never wrestled at Wrestlemania. He deserves to. Has he been in the ring too much lately? Yes. Has he been booked properly? No. Am I surprised by or bent out of shape over his win last night? No. Actually, it doesn't bother me in the slightest.

~ The tag team match between Santino/Koslov and Harris/McGillicutty. When it comes to this division, I'll take what I can get.

~ Maryse's face turn. You go, girl!

~ The Edge/Miz match. It's good to see The Ultimate Opportunist widen his moveset. Now all he needs is a new gimmick.

~ Eve Torres shouldn't be holding the Diva's strap, but I've got to hand it to her. That bitch can work. I love how she sold Layla's finisher. Again, her title reign is a fluke, but I respect her for earning her keep. What's more, she knows how to land a moonsault.

~ The 2-21-11 vignette...badass! At first, I was thinking Kong, but yeah, it's definitely Sting. If it's not, I'll live. However, if Sting is spotted in the rafters on Raw, I'll shit.

~ The Uso's and their purple trunks. Poor bastards.


~ Randy Orton's dramatic punt took way too long. Am I supposed to believe that Husky Harris was frozen on all fours?

~ The goddamn dance-off. What was Khali doing? Seriously, what the fuck was he doing? To add insult to injury, he goes for a pin. After a dance-off. Holy shit. Giant Gonzalez is often (and unfairly) called the worst wrestling giant of all time, but he was never this bad. If you would rather watch The Great Khali than Giant Gonzalez, you're probably The Great Khali.

Only a couple of cons? I can deal with that.

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