Parts Unknown #57: Raw

Save for the final 30 minutes, this was one of the worst episodes of Raw that I've seen since I rediscovered wrestling in early 2010. Let's get this over with...


~ It was nice seeing Bret Hart back in a WWF/E ring, even though he was only called upon to salvage a withering feud. You have to laugh at the writers for glossing over the fact that The Excellence of Execution and Jerry "The King" Lawler were supposed to be arch enemies in the mid-90's.

~ Ah, the old "hit by a car" storyline. I'll roll with it for the time being. The Big Show sold his injuries well.

~ The Jack Swagger/Evan Bourne match. I'm glad that Swagger used a gutwrench powerbomb as his finisher. Maybe Kurt Angle will stop bitching and moaning about a young talent utilizing a submission hold that he didn't invent.

~ Alex Riley's face turn. Look, I'm still not sure about this kid, but he gave a heartfelt performance last night. He had the crowd in the palm of his hand.

~ The tribute to "Macho Man" Randy Savage. It was goddamn beautiful.


~ If they're going to drop the tag titles to The Nexus, then why didn't they do it at a PPV? You have to give us a reason to shell out $50 for a second-tier PPV. There is literally no reason to order Capitol Punishment (or at least that's the message that I took away from Raw). In truth, a PPV is just a glorified live event. But Vince is reaping a profit, which means that nothing is going to change.

~ Oh my fucking shit. Kharma...crying? What are they thinking? They have just ruined one of the most exciting characters in the past decade, and we haven't even seen her in a sanctioned match yet! All of the hype, all of the momentum and all of the intimidation that Kharma built for herself was squandered in the blink of an eye. This is common sense, people! Can you imagine The Undertaker crying one month after his debut in 1990? He didn't act like a human being until five years later! Christ!

~ So Michael Cole is back to normal again? Of course. They only wasted hours upon hours of television time on this putrid angle.

I could bite the head off of a toddler right now.

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