Top 50 Superstars of All Time

Any list compiled by a TV channel or a magazine is going to be flawed. VH1, in particular, seems to love to put together bullshit lists for the Bret Michaels fans that watch their hideous programming. Since everyone has their own opinion, there is no such thing as a definitive list. If I posted a list of my top 10 favorite tractors, it would spark a debate. The same goes for my top 10 favorite wrestlers. And wouldn't you know it? WWE just released a DVD counting down the top 50 wrestlers (oops, I mean "superstars") of all time. Even though it would be pointless to argue the merits of this countdown, that's precisely what I'm going to do.

First off, let me just say that I enjoyed watching the main feature that spearheads this 3-disc set. It was fun listening to different wrestlers/managers/commentators give their perspectives on the legends that populate this list. That said, I have major problems with it. I was hoping that the interviews would be in the style of a shoot. While some insider terms are used, there are many instances where kayfabe is protected. For example, John Cena (who appears way too much) intimates that Kane isn't someone you would want to hang out with. Thank you for insulting my intelligence, John. Hell, they don't even mention Kane's real name.

It's obvious that this DVD was geared towards the CeNation (i.e. pre-pubescent fuckstains). Thankfully, most of the wrestlers showcased made a name for themselves before The Attitude Era. One or two guys slipped through for the sole purpose of keeping things topical, though. I'm looking at you, Batista. Is there any reason for his inclusion other than popularity? There are so many worthy wrestlers that didn't make the cut just to make room for people like him. The Ultimate Warrior, Trish Stratus (this one makes no sense), The Road Warriors (apparently, tag teams don't count), William Regal, Paul Orndorff, Tito Santana, Ultimo Dragon...I could go on and on, but you catch my drift.

Saying that this list is controversial is like saying that Maryse is mildly attractive. How controversial is it? Hulk Hogan, the man who single-handedly revolutionized what Vince McMahon dubbed "sports entertainment," is ranked #23. Yeah. Look, I realize that The Hulkster is currently under contract with TNA, but give me a fucking break. Ric Flair is ranked #17. Again, he works over at TNA. What a coincidence. Shawn Michaels is ranked #1, and to me, that's just as sacrilegious. Even if you leave out Hogan and Flair, I don't see how The Heartbreak Kid comes in at number one. I better stop here before I get too frustrated.

Discs 2 and 3 are loaded with matches. I haven't had time to watch them yet, but I know that they're good. Overall, I wouldn't recommend buying this DVD if you're a knowledgeable wrestling fan. I can't justify spending $25 for the matches alone, but I guess that's what I did. If it sounds like something you would get a kick out of, then by all means, go for it. Like I said, I enjoyed the countdown in spite of it being saddled with nonsense. I mean, Triple H in the top 20? If he belongs in the top 20, then so does Bastion Booger and Rad Radford.

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