The Soda Jerk #6

MUG ROOT BEER

It was high time that I dusted this column off. What better way to rejuvenate The Soda Jerk than to discuss one of the first soft drinks ever fermented? Of course, I'm talking about root beer. Up until a week ago, I hadn't quaffed a frosty mug (no pun intended) of sassafras extract in quite some time. I just didn't have a taste for it. That all changed during a carefree stroll through the grocery store. An old favorite caught my eye. It beckoned me. It spoke to me. To be more specific, the bulldog on the label spoke to me. "Dom," he whispered. "Buy me." But I'm broke, you approachable mascot, you. "Use your food stamps, you crippled piece of white trash."

Did I mention that the bulldog on the label was a dick? That's not important. What's important is that Mug is my favorite brand of root beer. That's saying a lot because there is plenty of competition down any soda aisle. Off the top of my head, you've got Barq's, A&W, IBC, Dad's, Stewart's...that's a superfluity of options. What's so special about Mug, you ask? The answer lies in the name. It has a "frosted mug" flavor, the kind of flavor that you can only reproduce with a frosted mug. Don't get me wrong; I'll drink other brands. In fact, I can't think of a brand that I actively dislike. But in my opinion, Mug is the best root beer on the market.

In regards to the taste, it's not too syrupy and the carbonation dial is turned to "just right." The foamy head will make your mouth water before you take your first sip. Our freezer is bereft of vanilla ice cream, but believe me, a root beer float is in the cards. My head is foaming at the mere thought of a Mug float. Oh, get your mind out of the gutter. I'm talking about my penis.