Parts Unknown #36: Raw

There wasn't much wrestling on last night's Raw, but there didn't need to be an abundance of in-ring action. At present, it's more important to build storylines as we head straight for Wrestlemania, and in that department, this episode was a success. Let's find out what happened..

PROS

~ Triple H's promo. I'm glad that he's not challenging The Undertaker just to get revenge for ending his pal's career. He put all of the emphasis on the streak. He resents the fact that Taker is known as The Last Outlaw (cool nickname). As far as Hunter is concerned, there are two men who have survived the changing tides of this industry over the past 15-20 years. Speaking as a frothing fanboy, I was a tad peeved that The Game failed to mention Goldust, though I understand why Dustin Rhodes was left out of the conversation. Still, you can't gloss over The Bizarre One!

~ The return of Evan Bourne. I wouldn't mind seeing him vie for the United States Championship. A high-flyer versus a mat technician? Yes, please.

~ Satan knows that I hate Michael Cole, but I'm looking forward to his match with Jerry "The King" Lawler. This will be a great opportunity for Jack Swagger to leave an imprint on a wide scale.

~ I dig how the feud between Randy Orton and CM Punk is unraveling. I have to hand it to the creative team; they devised a unique way to determine the stipulation for the Punk/Orton bout at Wrestlemania. On a sidenote, I love hearing The Straight Edge Savior call out The Viper like a mother reprimanding her young. "Randall Keith Orton!"

~ The Rock is spoiling us with these fucking promos. His pre-taped response to John Cena's dope rhymes was brilliant. Absolutely brilliant. Keeping him out of the ring was a stroke of genius. The ball is in your court, you yabba-dabba bitch!

~ HBK's sit-down interview. Again, it's all about fostering plot threads.

~ The Miz tweeting during the steel cage match between John Cena and Alex Riley. The match itself was mediocre, but it definitely wasn't boring.

CONS

~ I get that Triple H needs to look dominant right now, but does the booking have to come at the expense of Sheamus? Isn't there a better way to tie up the loose ends? Feasibly, I could see Sheamus receiving a major push after Wrestlemania, but I'm not too thrilled about how he has been forced down the card in recent weeks.

~ The Diva battle royale. What the hell was that? A goddamn Bella twin is the number one contender? Earlier today, I read that Awesome Kong will be positioned at the forefront of the Diva division once she debuts. I'm praying that her first order of business will be to end the kind of "twin magic" that we were all subjected to last night. I want to see blood. A lot of blood.

Woah, sorry about that. Every once in awhile, I lose myself in a fog of violence when discussing certain aspects of professional wrestling. I need to go to bed.